There are billions of websites on the internet. Thank you for clicking on my one.
I've had this website for years and I used to use it to collect a load of nonsense about giraffes and a made-up fact about post codes.
The internet has moved on a lot since then, and seeing as I'm not in to data harvesting or Bitcoin scams my website started to feel a bit left out by the whole thing. I have now cleared out the worst of the nonsense, leaving behind a few blog posts and a bit of hope that I will excitedly update it more often.
I veer wildly between late-1990s TV nostalgia, social media pictures of signs which amuse me and occasional serious recollections from when I used to work hard in the travel industry. Keep checking back for a messy concoction of all three, plus a few more travel tales.
A few weeks ago I was having a nice conversation with a former RTÉ 2FM presenter about how the industry has changed so suddenly. Imagine my surprise when, just a few weeks later, that conversation was played out over social media.
Let me explain. I work in radio. I don't have the most amazing job in the world, but I have a great job in a great industry. I have lots of friends who work in the same industry. When there's radio news, there's reaction to it all over my social media feeds.
This morning's news is that the people's darling Greg O'Shea is being parachuted into a top job at RTÉ 2FM. People who have worked hard to refine their craft in radio are being overtaken by some chancer purely because gossip magazines happen to like him at the moment.
My overriding impression is that Dublin could be an amazing city. But it's like it doesn't want to become one. And that is so frustrating to see every day.
You go to the premier streets like Henry Street or O'Connell and there are no benches or fountains because the streets are just tools, places we use while on our way somewhere.
The reaction to The Bernard Shaw closing has been impressive, and I'm not surprised some people think it's too much. You might think it's a bit of a stretch that I'm going to tie it into this post.
The lads know I'm an expert in service stations, so they sent me to Circle K Glasnevin to see what I could find.
Every time I turn up at Classic Hits, they have fitted a new TV to the wall.
Rumours went around that you can scare off a seagull by staring at it. This was put to the test with one of the most disasterous broadcasting experiences of my life.
I have no sympathy for her. Instagram has always been famous for its culture of cyber-bullying. She knew that and still chose to build her life around it. It was inevitable that one day she'd be on the receiving end, and I'm sure she is rational enough to realise that.
What I am really worried about is a future where people are so desperate to prove that they aren't stupid, that they say things that are stupid. "You can't fool me", they say, while pointing out something that isn't true.
This confusion is inevitable when we live in a society that is continually taking fake things and pretending they are real. The simulacra, as Jean Baudrillard made clear, means people are so used to seeing fake TV, fake models, fake videos and fake news that they don't believe it when they see something real.
I like cars, just not there. This is a serious post about the problems with cars, cities and reluctant councils.
Center Parcs invited 400 influencers and lifestyle bloggers to experience a free weekend at Longford Forest, as well as all the perks of their VIP launch event, on the basis that they would fill social media with smug posts about how amazing it all is. It turned out Twitter users didn't like having to sift through ass-licking smuggery.
I'm not surprised Twitter didn't like it. What has surprised me is that the bloggers - who have been in this game for a long time - have taken offence at the blowback.
The bloggers were merely a tool in Center Parcs's marketing strategy. And here's the deal: marketing is all about speaking directly to your audience. Your audience are allowed to stick their finger up at you if they find your message patronising. It has always been that way. The word "backfired" exists for a reason.
I love shopping, because I love trying to slide the trolley as far as I can. I have tried many shops and I think IKEA trolleys slide the most, and IKEA ailes are long and quiet enough to get the best result.
Sadly, on the day my ashamed family filmed me, my performance was poor.
The idea of the show is that these people are presented as if they are just like you - normal people, with normal backgrounds. Anybody can apply. This could have been you. In fact why wasn't it?
The answer is simple, and sometimes you have to spell it out to yourself: these people are not normal people. I know the producers will throw in a token sweet one like the adorable Dr Alex, but never on Love Island do you see somebody who might think twice before getting their body out on camera; somebody who worries about running out of conversation when around strangers; a man who gets intimidated by the idea of being with 'lads'. You never see anyone who really gets panics before a date, or someone who's a tiny bit prudish when bragging about their sex life with someone they've literally just met.