The 5 Most Annoying People You Will Find In An Airport
These days, everybody goes through airports.
This means airports can attract some of the worst behaviour in the world. Here are 5 examples from one very short trip:
1. People who don't know what a liquid is
The airport liquid ban was introduced in 2006. 14 years ago. People should have learned by now that liquids can't be carried in hand luggage.
"What if you only fly once every 15 years?", you cry. Well in that case you should read all the information you're given, because lots of things could have changed.
It's really simple. Toothpaste, gels and varnish are liquids. Check on the internet before you get there if you're not sure. Don't act all surprised when you discover the ban still applies.
It's not just embarrassing - and it is really embarrassing - but the fact they have to interrogate you on what liquids you have means it takes everyone much longer to get through.
2. People who don't put their trays back
Picture the scene: you've made it through the metal detector. You're waiting for your bag to survive the X-ray machine. You know there aren't any liquids in there, but you're still a little nervous, because you always are.
Then - your bag is held up because the entire conveyor belt is full of empty trays. Empty trays that people have left behind!
It takes two seconds to put the empty tray in the dispenser, like you're supposed to. You have to walk past it anyway. It doesn't take a second longer.
People are just too thoughtless to notice that their laziness is the reason it takes too long to get through security.
3. People who can't queue
Each airport tends to be used by people from all over the world, and by people from all-sorts of backgrounds. I find that exciting. Genuinely, I love that.
The only problem is different cultures have slightly different attitudes to queueing.
You know what I mean. You're in London, there's a queue for the metal detector or the boarding gate. Somebody decides they and their huge family will just walk to the front.
It's infuriating. It won't save them much time, if any. You might even be annoyed because you wish you were brave enough to do it. They did it, and it's really annoying.
Are you saying anything?
4. People who don't know that budget airlines have rules
We know, Ryanair would charge you extra to sit indoors if they could. We've heard it all before.
That's why, if you're flying with Ryanair and you don't know how it works, you'd be wise to actually read the information they give you.
For all their flaws, Ryanair have become quite good at warning you about their charges. Their awful luggage rules, introduced in 2018, are still being clearly advertised to returning customers in 2020.
Yet somehow people seem to choose not to read those warnings, turn up with all their luggage anyway, and then hold us all up while they try to comprehend the fact that this airline has rules.
And that's when they'll make their little joke about Ryanair having charges.
5. People who use the wrong doors
If you are in the front half of the plane, use the front door. If you are in the rear half of the plane, use the rear door. It's simple.
If you use the wrong door, you're not just creating a long queue for yourself. You're creating a massive jam when you meet people coming towards you. You're also causing everybody who is actually by the front door to get held up for longer.
To be honest, the whole loading procedure for a short haul flight is messed up. Mathematically you could speed things up by loading all the window seats first, as these people could then put their bags in the locker without disrupting anybody.
I realise that people who travel in groups would find this annoying, but at this point in the rant you won't be surprised to hear I don't often travel in groups.
You will notice I have managed not to include crying babies or drunken, English "lads" on this list. Or racists, which Ryanair seems to attract a lot of.
Each of these is equally abhorrent, yet somehow not in the same way that having your time wasted by some idiot who doesn't know where they are going.
And I know why they do it.
It's not stress, or confusion, or excitement. It's just people.
A worryingly high number of people carry out their business without a moment's thought for how it might inconvenience others. When you get a lot of people in one place, like in an airport, you can really see who those people are.
Look at it this way: all of those people who managed to ignore all of the instructions. You can bet they drove to the airport. And you can bet they ignored all of the road signs too.
Not because they are fundamentally evil or too stubborn to heed information, but because their brain is never switched on enough to process the information they are given.
That's why airports are a nightmare. So many people, none of them able to think for themselves.